Jokes Corner - Suppandi Jokes

Joke 1

Once Suppandi's master's book had been torn. Suppandi stitched it back with thread. His master advised him to use super glue to stitch or stick together anything as it gives better results.
Then One Day-

Master: Suppandi, iron my new and expensive suit as it has to be worn on the wedding tonight.
That evening-

Master: Suppandi, give me my suit.

Suppandi: Here it is.

Master: What has happened to it? What do you think you did to it?

Suppandi: The suit had been stitched together with thread, so I removed all the thread and stuck it together with super glue. Doesn't it give a much better result.

Master: S-U-P-P-A-N-D-I!!!! You're fired! Get out.


Joke 2

Master: Suppandi, How much time does it take for you to post a letter? And look, you haven't even posted the letter the 1 hour you have been out.

Suppandi: I searched the whole town master. But all the post boxes were locked



JOKE 3


Master: Suppandi, go and stop a taxi, I have to go to Chennai right away.
Suppandi: Yes master.

After a while-
Suppandi: Master I could not find a single empty taxi, all of them had atleast one man sitting in them.


JOKE 4


Mistress: Suppandi, go and hang these clothes outside to dry.

Suppandi: Why?

Mistress: Because the heat of the sun will dry the clothes.
A little later-

Mistress: Suppandi, why are you standing in the hot sun?

Suppandi: I was trying to dry my sweat.

Santa Banta - London Bridge is Falling Down

Santa: London Bridge is Falling Down…Falling Down.

Webmaster: Early in the morning…why don’t you give a call to the Fire officials or the Police for launching the relief and rescue operations, instead of ranting the ‘falling down’ mantra?

Santa: Ach stupid…I’m sure when your mates were attending the English lessons in school you were enjoying some …‘Jawani ki aag’-type film in the darkness of the movie hall. Never ever read English rhymes…grammar and can’t make out the difference between a poem and a news item. God bless our nation!

Webmaster: You tell me London Bridge has fallen down and in the same vein snub me. I can’t figure out, what you intend to say.

Santa: Oh well, the moment I get a bit lyrical, things just fly above your head.

Webmaster: Santa, I am a humble being. This keyboard and mouse is my bread and butter. You are a globe-trotter. How can I even think of comparing myself to you? But could you throw some light on the how the bridge has fallen.

Santa: My dear friend, the bridge of Anglo-Indian friendship has fallen. I am really put off by the news of British star Jade Goody’s racial remarks against Shilpa Shetty.

Webmaster: But Shetty has denied it.

Santa: The abuser should thank her stars that it was Shilpa and not Suniel.

Webmaster: What difference should have that made?

Santa: Well, you know what an Indian hero can do. He would have put the Thames on Fire.

Webmaster: Anyway, the British public has undone the wrong, what one wretch of a woman could have wrought—of breaking the Asian and White harmony in Great Britain. Good that Goody has been given the boot.

Santa: Wait till you hear who managed it.

Webmaster: Who did it?

Santa: Me. Don’t you know I was camping in London since a fortnight? I started a massive public campaign among the people for voting her out of the Big Brother show.

Webmaster: That’s great.

Santa: But I couldn’t spend the precious time in propping my protégés in the Punjab elections.

Webmaster: Anyway, now that you are back, you can do that.

Santa: No way! Half of them have been denied tickets. You see, I couldn’t canvass for them in the party headquarters. Well, now I have suggested a five-year-old sabbatical for some of the vociferous ones. That will cool their vocal muscles and give their pockets a respite from constant stuffing.

Webmaster: Whose victory do you predict in the polls—will it be Captain or Badal?

Santa: This question is worth a million dollars. I will not say anything. I can make things sway at slightest of utterance. I will have my millions before I say something.

Webmaster: We are humble people and we neither can spare millions nor do we have a say in the going on of things.

Santa: Mum’s the word for you. (Rushing out from the door) Wait till I come a fortnight later with some important information

Webmaster (confused): Why did he mention my mother?

Joke in life - Adult only

HARBHAJA SINGH GETS MARRIED,
DURING SUHAG RAAT
HE ASKS HIS WIFE.. R U A VIRGIN???

SHE REPLIES "KAR DI NA SARDARON WALI BAAT,
SPINNER KO KABHI NAYI BALL KABHI MILI HAI....

******

A MAN WAS PRESSING LADY'S BOOBS IN A CROWDED BUS..
LADY, 'EXCUSE ME.. YEH AAP ACHHA NAHI KAR RAHE HAIN...'
MAN, 'ITNI BHEED MEIN IS SE ACHHA HO HI NAHI SAKTA!!!!'

******

Sex poetry:
It's not the length,
it's not the size,
it's not how many times u can make it rise.
It's not how well it fits,
but how late it spits

******

All eggs in women decided to fight against sperms.
They waited with guns in the pussy.
That night no one came.
Suddenly 1 shouted: Hamla Peeche se hua hai...

*******

What is Long & Hard,
has a hole at the tip and
when u insert it into a wet, hairy & tight hole
makes u feel better?


Vicks Inhaler

*******

Cricketer describing a nude girl:
There is no cover,
there is no extra cover,
there 2 silly points,
2 fine legs & a deep gully,
with little grass on the pitch.

*******

What is invisible sex?
A male Negro fucking
a female Negro under
moonless night in a
coal mine
wearing a black condom.

******

What's the geographical definition of sex?
It's an action done
by Pol-land
into Hol-land
between Thai-land,
occasionally with a little help from Greece!

******

Q: Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour

******

Hum Gire Hue ko Uthate hai,
Hum Bichhde Hue Ko Milate Hai,
In Short Hum Bra Banate Hain

******

Man: Kiss Karun?
Gal: Lipstick kharab hogi.
Man: Boob dabaun.?
Gal: T-shirt kharab hogi.?
Man: Fuck?
Gal: Period me hun.?
Man: Don't say loose motions hai.

******

One two lets screw,
Three four I'm a whore,
Five six suck the dick,
Seven eight ejaculate,
Nine ten fuck me again

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Rajpali will get more jokes................ Till then enjoy