Thursday, December 18, 2008

Santa Banta - London Bridge is Falling Down

Santa: London Bridge is Falling Down…Falling Down.

Webmaster: Early in the morning…why don’t you give a call to the Fire officials or the Police for launching the relief and rescue operations, instead of ranting the ‘falling down’ mantra?

Santa: Ach stupid…I’m sure when your mates were attending the English lessons in school you were enjoying some …‘Jawani ki aag’-type film in the darkness of the movie hall. Never ever read English rhymes…grammar and can’t make out the difference between a poem and a news item. God bless our nation!

Webmaster: You tell me London Bridge has fallen down and in the same vein snub me. I can’t figure out, what you intend to say.

Santa: Oh well, the moment I get a bit lyrical, things just fly above your head.

Webmaster: Santa, I am a humble being. This keyboard and mouse is my bread and butter. You are a globe-trotter. How can I even think of comparing myself to you? But could you throw some light on the how the bridge has fallen.

Santa: My dear friend, the bridge of Anglo-Indian friendship has fallen. I am really put off by the news of British star Jade Goody’s racial remarks against Shilpa Shetty.

Webmaster: But Shetty has denied it.

Santa: The abuser should thank her stars that it was Shilpa and not Suniel.

Webmaster: What difference should have that made?

Santa: Well, you know what an Indian hero can do. He would have put the Thames on Fire.

Webmaster: Anyway, the British public has undone the wrong, what one wretch of a woman could have wrought—of breaking the Asian and White harmony in Great Britain. Good that Goody has been given the boot.

Santa: Wait till you hear who managed it.

Webmaster: Who did it?

Santa: Me. Don’t you know I was camping in London since a fortnight? I started a massive public campaign among the people for voting her out of the Big Brother show.

Webmaster: That’s great.

Santa: But I couldn’t spend the precious time in propping my protégés in the Punjab elections.

Webmaster: Anyway, now that you are back, you can do that.

Santa: No way! Half of them have been denied tickets. You see, I couldn’t canvass for them in the party headquarters. Well, now I have suggested a five-year-old sabbatical for some of the vociferous ones. That will cool their vocal muscles and give their pockets a respite from constant stuffing.

Webmaster: Whose victory do you predict in the polls—will it be Captain or Badal?

Santa: This question is worth a million dollars. I will not say anything. I can make things sway at slightest of utterance. I will have my millions before I say something.

Webmaster: We are humble people and we neither can spare millions nor do we have a say in the going on of things.

Santa: Mum’s the word for you. (Rushing out from the door) Wait till I come a fortnight later with some important information

Webmaster (confused): Why did he mention my mother?

No comments: